Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
