Can i not drive my cunt home
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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