OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
