normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
