the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
