I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
