Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
do herpes really smell.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
