Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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