I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
