He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize