I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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