he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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