This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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