I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
