it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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