no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
