How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize