the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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