just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
