So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
