Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
