I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
