Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
