is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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