Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
