I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
