Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
