true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
