god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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