I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
