we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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