Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
