I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize