Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
