nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
