She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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