Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
