Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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