Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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