Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
