in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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