He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
