well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize