Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
