Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
