Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
