I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
