You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
