I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
