I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize