sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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