if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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