but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize