I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize