dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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