I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
