it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
