Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
