my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
