After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
well you can't waste a boner
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
