bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
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